Colorado Is Theodore French for "Astrom".
Minnesota Lemaire hockey bores people senseless.
Vancouver Ongo bongo nobody beats Luongo.
Calgary When will Mount Keenan erupt?
Edmonton Glory years available on Betamax.
Silicone Tits Division
San Jose Cyborg Wilson's act wearing thin.
Anaheim Self-proclaimed genius at work.
Dallas Was Cup win a dream?
Los Angeles 41-night filler at Staples.
Phoenix Coyotes a Mickey Mouse organization.
Detroit Running up score on pansies.
St. Louis Best of a bad lot.
Nashville Moving vans packed for KC.
Columbus New rule: No more Newfies.
Chicago Just revoke the franchise, already.
Buffalo Plenty of depth to prevail.
Ottawa Last year was last chance.
Boston My list, my homer rankings.
Montreal Howie Morenz is not amused.
Toronto Teeder Kennedy late camp invite.
Pittsburgh Penguins Might win despite idiot coach.
New York Rangers Expensive FAs never worked before
Philadelphia Flyers Improbably, Hatcher hasn't retired yet.
New Jersey Devils Lou's luck quickly running out.
New York Islanders Owner an OSHL swear word.
Carolina Anyone else notice Ward blows?
Washington Lack of backchecking could hurt.
Atlanta New sweater 'Toilet Cleaner Blue.'
Tampa Bay Fonzie somehow holds onto job.
Florida Next coach arrives American Thanksgiving.