PMS Gone Wild

Do not piss off the old lady.

Free Jaguars for Everyone!

Robert Prechter scores again.

I hate to challenge mainstream 20th century macroeconomic theory, but the idea that a growing economy needs easy credit is a false theory. Credit should be supplied by the free market, in which case it will almost always be offered intelligently, primarily to producers, not consumers. Would lower levels of credit availability mean that fewer people would own a house or a car? Quite the opposite. Only the timeline would be different.

What Dany Heatley really thinks

Sniffing Glue

Or maybe the oilsands tailings have finally reached Edmonton's drinking water.

Because here's the top comment from Lowetide's blog entry on dealing Ladislav "First Ballot Hall of Famer" Smid:

Smid has value, but unless he becomes a more physical force, he won't be in our top 4 anytime soon....I like him as a package for someone like Sharp in Chicago. They need cheap options going forward and need to shed salary....He's a 30-goal scorer with an edge, and does not kill our cap like Heatley. Not to mention he kills penalties and is a leader in the room.

To even waste time looking up the numbers on those two guys would be like Bryan Hall giving two minutes of air to whatever doofus would phone up on Sunday night and propose the Oilers trade Curt Brackenbury for Real Cloutier. Or Bruce Lemmerman for Tom Clements.

To quote Hallsie: "Are you insane, man?!"

That might not even be the biggest Oiler-related fantasy I read on that site today. From LT's blog entry on Grebeshkov, another guy chimes in with this beauty:

Penner, Cogliano, Smid
for Kessel and the damaged Bergeron works for both teams.

Essentially
Penner for Bergeron,
and Cogliano/Smid for Kessel

• The Bruins already have a plethora of beatable Dmen; they don't need Smid.
• Besides his massive overpay, Penner doesn't fit on a Julien team that is surprisingly fleet of foot when they're aren't playing kitty-bar-the-door.
  
• The only reason to sell Bergeron so low (given his recent health issues) is to dump salary, which is at least a plausible Bruins need right now.
• If you give Bergeron away you don't also need to trade Kessel.

A look at the numbers:

Andrew Cogliano 82GP 18G 20A 22PM
Phil Kessel 70GP 36G 24A 16PM

In addition to the glaring difference in production, Kessel is two inches taller, 15 pounds heavier and drafted 20 spots higher.

Bruins finished first in the East; Oilers finished 16th or 17th in the West, can't recall. The world is not beating a path to the door of a franchise full of 3rd liners.

Now Staios for Bergeron might make some sense: Bruins shed some coin and a redundant Centre but get a guy that helps ensure Shane Hnidy remains ensconsed in the press box. Oilers lose one of their ill-advised post-SCF overpays and gain a guy who, while health is an issue, can reliably dish the puck to Hemmer, which seems to be what everybody in River City is lusting for.

If Bergeron regains his health and plays another 10 years, while Staios retires and opens a fishing lodge in the Muskokas, you can erect a statue to Steve Tambellini in Churchill Square.

Not saying that's a hockey trade I'd be happy with if my Bruins ginch are properly adjusted, but in the salary cap era it's at least plausible.

OV Bolts to KHL!

Nah. Just kidding. It was Jiri Hudler.

But dare to dream.

Also, it looks like we're losing the Steel. Everyone else is back on board.

Pending a decision by the Slip Kids, who may want a team each, we're looking to extend an invitation to a friend/co-worker of Blaine's.

Still considering options on a venue for draft day.

Haven't heard whether our favourite owner will attend, though he'll be well represented by the incumbents, no doubt.

Communicating

Musician sticks it to United Airlines for busting his guitar.

Personally, I would have gone with "angry" and "hateful," but kudos to the guy for singling out one of the corporate hags by name. I hope her kids get picked on at school and she catches malaria on her next holiday.



Not everyone can be a wordsmith. But if your major intellectual accomplishment is having good hair, hire a speechwriter next time you quit public office.

"The cat was unanimous."

Of course, nothing matches hockey players trying to spill the beans.

"A high of 76 and a low of 58. Probably at night?"

Quick-hitters Vol.I

- The Dany Heatley sweepstakes is like playing reverse musical chairs. The first one to sit down is the loser.
- ESPN gobbledegook says the Leafs are the worst franchise in the NHL. Duh!
- Wang's boys are second-last. Oilers are fourth-last, just behind the Habs. Again, Duh!
- I wouldn't be caught dead at Michael Jackson's memorial. I bet he didn't want to be either.
- The Canucks sign Andrew Raycroft. And their fans thought the price sign the Sedins was high already. Raycroft's the interest.
- Everyone's dumping on the Habs reno. Not so fast. I'm curious what it will look like once all the furniture is in place.
- Free download of The Who's acoustic show in London, 1997 is here:
- Am also listening to Levon Helm's new album, Electric Dirt. At least as good as his epic, Dirt Farmer (2007).

Team Canada

The roster for Team Canada's summer "orientation camp" was announced earlier this week, but there's still plenty of meat on this carcass for the hyenas to pick over.
The goalies (Brodeur, Fleury, Luongo, Mason and Ward) are hard to argue against. They've pretty much got everyone needed and one of them is bound to be hot come next February. Find that one and stick him between the pipes until he lets in six against Sweden in the first game. Then kick him to the side of the road and get the next hottest one. Rinse. Repeat, if necessary.
They've picked 16 defencemen, of which eight are probably needed. After you weed out the obvious ones (Beauchemin, Boyle, Burns, Doughty, Robidas) you're down to 11. Discount the ones who will undoubtedly retreat next year after posting boffo years last season (Green) and get rid of the Langway/Engblom types (Regehr) and the goat from the last Olympics (Pronger) you've got the list down to eight. Here they are: (Bouwmeester, Hamhuis, Keith, Niedermayer, Phaneuf, Seabrook, Staal and Weber). There'll be injuries, so just like the old TVs that have "works in a drawer," take one module out and put another one in.
There's a lot of fat and gristle among the 25 forwards, so let's start trimming: Cleary, Lucic, Marleau, McDonald, Morrow, Roy, Sakic, Sharp, Smyth, Jordan Staal. Down to 15 almost immediately. No need for orientation camp. Give the guys the summer off.
Come next February, when unsure who to pick, pick more scorers and leave the checkers at home.
Canada doesn't need another repeat of this:

Would the Real Bob McKenzie please stand up

Bob McKenzie says whoever is Twatting under his name is not him. It's a different guy. Pretending to be Bob McKenzie, hockey guy. But Twitting is valuable, says the hockey Bob. Like Darren Dreger's Twit, where he breaks such news as:

Personal tweet: almost 20,000 followers. 10 times the population of my hometown.8:34 PM Jul 1st from mobile web

Not surprising, since every post on Lowetide includes one of Dreger's relatives spamming it with links to his Twat.

Looking forward to this Tweetle from Dreger:

Just checked my head size: 7 7/8.

Where would I have been on Draft Day without this nugget from Dreger's Twit:

Brian Burke is in Europe, believed to be trying to lure Jonas Gustavsson to Toronto. www.tsn.ca10:46 AM Jul 1st from mobile web

I may not be 10x more popular than the high school QB (Dreger's subtext, let's be honest), but come on, this was a better Tweet:

What The World Needs Now is not more Priuseses. Hippies. Or Burt Bacharach revivals.

And this was a gem that should be in Bartlett's:

The Oilers: Fucked? Or Totally Fucked?

Couple of the comments were classic Celebrity Death Jokes:

I notice Billy Mays was still flogging gardening tools on CNBC this morning...I wonder how much the undertaker charged for shipping and handling...

And:

Billy Mays arteries were clogged with Jiffy Putty.

Today's Twaddle from Art:

Me: Half as many followers as the population of my house.

Good kitty

Cat catches bat mid-flight